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Tuesday, April 9, 2013

We will be ok...

I have been taking a year long online art class called Lifebook 2013 from Tamara LaPorte. She has gathered up 22 really cool artists from all over the globe to teach classes by video over the year.
One of the teachers this month is one of my favorites (Mindy Lacefield).
I have had an art crush on her since the first day I saw her stuff at vendor night at Artfest. I love layers and whimsy and a deeper meaning and her work encompasses all of this.
So for her lesson she walked us through a page about connection with each other.
I did the first layer of writing over the entire page. I wrote the chapter from 1 Corinthians 13 on love.
Then stuff just started to spill out about my relationship I have with my daughter. I wrote that over top of the first layer. Next she had us use spray inks and paint and stamps then finally the figures.
I didn't have a preconceived idea for this, I just started painting...but when I saw it was a bear and a girl I really knew it was about my daughter and I. I have called her pooky bear forever, and I have been having so much anxiety and worry over where we are headed. Growing up is hard enough, but when you add Autism on top of it some days I feel like I'm drowning. Drowning in worry and guilt over not being a better parent, not being patient enough or setting a good enough example. The tears just started to pour out when I wrote "don't be scared pooky bear, we will be OK..." I know I am saying the words as much for my benefit as for hers. I can't let go of my hope, and I know God wont let me down...but some days I have to tell myself "we will be OK" over and over just to make it through. Sorry for spilling, anyone who knows me personally knows I wear my heart on my sleeve, and some days my sleeve is a mess! LOL! I'll leave you with my favorite part of the love chapter...

"Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, it's hopes are fadeless under all circumstances and it endures everything {without weakening}. Love never fails..."  
1 Corinthians 13: 7-8                       xoxo Tam


  1. You and your personality, your contagious smile, your enthusiasm, your love of life is such an inspiration and such an example for me to follow. I admire your approach to life, and the cornucopia of love that you are!

  2. wow - that's gorgeous Tammy! So much love in the eyers! You will have to frame this & put it in a prominent place as it has so much meaning for you.. I love the idea of spilling words onto a page and then covering them up with paint. Only you know what it says.. xoxi

  3. There is no doubt you and pookybear will be ok, you are strong, loving and one fantastic mom. Keep strong, you are loved so much. Your post made me cry.....because it made me so proud of you! Love you!

  4. wow tammy this post made me tear-up! you summed up how i feel sometimes...more lately than ever with my girls, it is tough to know/believe that it will all turn out alright but you are right faith in god and love what two things could possibly give us more strength
    big hugs for you
    love love the painting by the way! crushing on mindy too:)

  5. tammy, i completely understand your feelings. i am learning about and living with a HSC and that brings up all sorts of moments of doubt in my parenting skills some days. perhaps there is a solace found in the simple fact that you are not walking this path alone. sending love ~ s

  6. Tammy...I absolutely love the pooky bear art...and this post...and you.